Potent Potables # 17

12 11 2007

Dear Screenwriters of Spiderman 3,

I know it was tempting to trot out 3 different supervillains in one film and still attempt to neatly round out the story of Spiderman’s roots and motivations. I guess you figured since you were shooting your wad on the effects budget and actors’ contracts, it made sense to squeeze every last bit of story out of this as possible. The problem is that when you have multiple people all shooting their wads at once, you become a pack of japanese businessmen encircling us, the DVD viewer, with your messy, sticky…plot resolutions. That was a bukakke joke. It was pretty evident but I know just dropping that word will triple my hits on this entry. As will “deepthroat”.

When you have this many story arcs converging, the end result is a series of chaotic interwoven lines that aggregate into a flimsy we-….

Oh, wait. Now I get it. Very clever. Sam Raimi, you make retardation genius yet again.

-Ian

p.s. Also “barely legal sluts”

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5 responses

12 11 2007
Namey

Bukakke brought me to this site. Also, it’s not in my spellchecker. Wait. Now it is.

12 11 2007
Ianternet

Come for the bukakke, stay for the..um, more bukakke?

12 11 2007
Paul

Webkakke?

12 11 2007
Jake

This is your seminal work.

13 11 2007
Paul

“bea arthur sex tape”

That should up your hit count tremendously.

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