To All The Women I’ve Loved Before

26 03 2008

There is nothing I like better than a hot, funny chick. It’s part of the reason I’m such a big fan of Robert’s latest atomfilms triumph (Read it, digg it, pimp it suckas). It’s the reason that I crushed on Elaine from Seinfeld, even during the early years when the front of her hairdo emulated the aerodynamics of a mack truck:

“So what is the deal with women that double as battering rams?”

Tina Fey runs pretty high on that list too. I don’t usually go for the mousy, self-deprecating chicks, but she has an edge. She works in close proximity with Alec Baldwin. The man is so sexy he doesn’t even have to comb his own hair – it retains its sheen and form from the hundreds of willing nymphets taking turns tongue-bathing his dome. It’s only when she strikes out on her own and speaks publicly about her own non-Baldwin related ideas that she starts to lose her luster:

I think male comedy is more boisterous. Usually it involves robots and sharks and bears. Female comedy is more likely to be about the minutiae of human behavior and relationships.

I take exception to that. I’ll gladly concede that my humor tends toward the profane and ridiculous, but that is not the only spectrum I occupy. I am skilled in the arts of parody, skewering topical events, and rabid lotus kung fu. I can be subtle as motherfucking hell! And I’ll prove it by effortlessly constructing a joke in Tina’s evidently preferred domain.

Q: Why do guys always wait 3 days before using the phone number you gave them?

A: Fuck your punchline, here comes the robobearshark! HAHA!




4 responses

1 04 2008

testing how awesome my fix was

1 04 2008

That fix was bonafide awesome.

1 04 2008

Eat a dick, dapper gentlemen of the internet.

18 04 2008

That robobearshark made me “oh noes” out loud.

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