Not Picked Last For Dodgeball Anymore!

10 06 2008

My last two posts on cracked.com have been en fuego. At last check the most recent had over 3600 diggs and even made the front page of Fark. It could just be that the site is picking up speed overall and I’ve had advantageous timeslots, but that reasoning doesn’t bolster my ego so I reject it. My intellect has obviously evolved such that I can casually pluck superior ideas out of the zeitgeist like I’m decoding the Matrix on the fly. I’m the Neo of dick jokes. “Whoa.”

So I’m clearly the most beloved writer on the site, but what does that mean in the larger sense? This is how digg laid it out a little while ago:

My popularity is only outscored by the iPhone and John McCain. The iPhone is understandable, especially if you’ve been in earshot of its fanboys slobbering over its newest features (“Oh-em-gee, you guys, it’s gonna have a 0.37 dB boost on the speaker phone!”), but John McCain? Are you telling me it was breaking news that the Republican candidate is attempting to appeal to the religious right? Fuck that. This is why people aren’t interested in politics anymore. It is the same song and dance that vainly tries to draw attention away from important articles that brandish the word “fuck” a lot.

As if that wasn’t bizarre enough, I’m bigger than Pixar. I made Pixar and all of its crisply animated creations my bitch. Suck that, Wall-E.

Anyway, thanks to everyone that has been reading, digging, nedditing, farking, and whatever else it takes to make it in this big, bad internet. I really do appreciate it.

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3 responses

10 06 2008
Lin Thomas

lol

Also, congrats on your Cracked success.

11 06 2008
Ef

MORE WEIGHT!

(Congrats, yo.)

12 06 2008
Niki

Just remember, I knew you when you were on LJ.
Uh huh.

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