Company Time

15 12 2008

Before I delve into another heapin spoonful of hilarity, I wanted to send all of you a special holiday greeting courtesy of atom.com. Think of it as a Christmas card that I was too lazy to send, but I happened to have on me when I bumped into you.

I spent the last week in a training class. In theory, it’s a rigorous 5 day course explaining every nuance of a feature-rich software. In reality, its a 5 day parole from child-rearing and an open invite to shenanigans. Not that I wasn’t the model of professionalism for the entirety of the visit. I only used cash for the hookers and never used my real name when I rented the backhoe to bury them all in the outskirts of town. Professionalism exemplified.

One of the things that struck me when I got to my workstation was the extraordinarily dull desktops I was presented with. I didn’t have an internet connection so I was pretty much locked into the defaults, at least until I noticed Gimp photo editing software on hand. Then it was just a matter of evaluating what my raw materials were. This is what I started with:

And for some reason this stock artwork spoke to me:

…And this is what it said:

I have so many gifts to offer this world that are worth absolutely nothing.

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2 responses

16 12 2008
vengeance_is_me

A lot of people read this. No, seriously, they do.

27 12 2008
Fish Tompkins

Who is this giant Reaper Bird, and why does it hate the Gulf of Mexico so?

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